You Can't Always Run Away

No matter how much we wish we could, we can't always run away from everything. You cannot simply get on a plane and leave expecting every trouble in your mind to disappear as you escape farther and farther from where you were. In an age where there are a million ways to escape, it can be a little to easy to try to hide from our problems. What with Netflix, blogs, Internet shopping, TV, and even books. It is so simple to literally forget about reality for as long as we want to. But does this really solve anything?

Taken Saturday afternoon on a flight around Southeastern NY.

Did your fight with your parents go away after you turned on the TV and sat there for hours? Can watching an entire season of gossip girl on Netflix solve your relationship problems? Will your depression just disappear if you fly 1000 miles away? The answer, as much as we wish it could be yes, is most definitely NO. 

Sometimes by trying to forget our problems just for a little while only results in prolonging the inevitable. At some point you will have to confront the problem. Nothing simply goes away if you ignore it (except maybe a spider on the wall but even still don't you worry where it went?). 

Here are three steps in the right direction that DO NOT involve ignoring the issue:

1) Talk about it: Regardless of what the problem you have is, you should never have to deal with it alone. You will certainly find that after talking to your mom, best friend, boyfriend, whoever it is, that you will feel exponentially better even if that didn't offer any useful advice or solutions. Simply getting everything off your chest and sharing it with someone else can lighten the burden and make you feel a whole lot better. And from there you can move on to find the right solution with the help of someone who you trust. 

2) Acceptance: In terms of a relationship- friendship or otherwise- sometimes things just don't work out and you grow apart or your friendship crumbles in a disastrous mess. Whichever it is you have to face the facts as Eric Church says, "It's over when it's over". Rather than spending days, weeks or even months hoping that things will change between you and this person when there is clearly no hope you have to let go of them. Make room in your life for new people friends or significant others. Either way you can't hold an old friendship or relationship over the heads of the new people in your life. Comparing your new best friend or boyfriend to your old one will only leave you unhappy. 

3) Move on: This last step is quite obvious. Delete their phone numbers, stop checking their Facebook, don't drive past their house on your way home from work. Remove them from your life if it causes you pain to think about them. Turn off Netflix, TV,  and close that book that makes you sob and get up and out of your house. Spending your time with new people, even if they are old friends who you haven't seen very much recently. Keep yourself busy, distracted and open to change and things will get better. 

Trust me on this, these will work especially in the case of friendships. I wasted so much of my time feeling bad about losing my best friends from high school....nearly two years ago. That is absolutely ridiculous. The second you begin to take steps towards getting on with your life and starting new friendships you will seriously feel a thousand times better.